Behind the Character: Welton


This one feels appropriate to do. The time is right. I mean, this character did just have his debut in the last comic. A debut that was rather abrupt and obscene. I think obscene is a good word for it.

“The character Welton is probably the only character that is a carbon copy of their real-life influence,” Davidlee told me while I was writing up the first draft of this. I have never met Welton, but I have heard many, many stories about him and have seen many, many revealing pictures of him. One day, Davidlee calmly passed me his phone and told me to look at something. That something was a picture that Welton sent of his dick on a dinner plate.

Apparently that is a normal “hello” from the legend that is Welton.

It was also apparently for Davidlee to get home – back before he moved to Virginia, at least – and hear someone singing a Katy Perry song over a running shower, while his dogs sat on the couch looking at him with confused expressions.

He would walk into his bathroom to find this:


“He always got in. You had to have a fucking remote to unlock the front doors to the building and I always kept my apartment door locked. He always found a way in.”

Welton is like the wind. He comes and goes as he pleases, often appearing at random times and from thin-air. “Cody and I would be hanging out downtown and Welton would literally step out some bushes.” There would be periods of time where Davidlee would see nothing of Welton. He would call him and get no answer. Places he would often work security at would have no idea where he was, and they had heard nothing from him either. It was as if he disappeared from the face of the Earth, and then, bam, outta nowhere he would bust up out of nowhere. “I’d ask him where the hell he had been and he would act like I was verbally attacking him. It is like he is a high-ranking government official or some shit, getting sent off to do some kind of secret mission bullshit.”

“Homie, what the fuck is this,” was a question Welton hit Davidlee with prior to the release of Homewrecker. “What the fuck is this, dude? I don’t fucking smoke, homie, why you got me smoking?”

You see, Welton was supposed to be seen smoking post-coitus in the final version of the comic, and, well, that was just going too far. You don’t make Welton smoke, not even in cartoon form. Other than that one little thing, though, it is pretty much free game and more than likely something Welton would do or say.

“About 80% of Welton’s lines in the scripts for Season One is a bunch of shit he would, or has said.”

Welton Smells Adventure
Unused Season One Promo Art featuring Welton

Welton’s catchphrase may as well be, “fucking awesome,” and everything is an adventure to him. Most of his conversations with Davidlee involves him bitching about the lack of ‘adventures’ they have currently had. Even the one time that Welton neglected to put gasoline in his car and he and Davidlee ended up having to walk to a gas station because they ran out of gas on I-75 at three-in-the-fucking-morning. If you say that the sky is blue, he will most likely respond with, “you don’t know that.” He also randomly gets naked, and loves to shit with the door open, no matter where he is.

A Man
Man at his finest….

Saying Welton is an inspiration for a character is an understatement.

“I would have never came up with a character like that. He’s so unique and bizarre.”

Davidlee also got permission from Welton to do this article about a week ago, and has not heard from him since. He has gone missing again. Or has locked himself away in a secluded location playing Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. Apparently he has a grudge against Davidlee with that game and swears to fully surpass him in it one day.

Keep and eye out for Welton in future comic releases. Welton also appears in Season One of Cody and David. 

~Roscoe Duggan


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